Gas prices haven’t been this low on Memorial Day weekend since 2005.

That was an awesome summer to drive around aimlessly, cranking the Nickelback while wasting precious natural resources.

The Mercedes or whatever took a crap a few years ago, but I’ve stolen a van with curtains.

AAA says gas is costing just $2.26/gallon, so I can’t wait for you to hit me up for some joy ridin’. (Twitter @offbeatwallst )

I have a coupon for every Showbiz Pizza from here to Key West.